Sunday, November 13, 2011

blame the toothpaste


I run about 10 minutes behind the rest of the world – I know this, and most people who know me know this. What most people don’t know is why. So I invite you for a tour of my head on any given morning.

Tuesday morning. Doctor appointment at 10:00. Showered, hair looks semi-okay, wearing the lightest clothes I can find because you know they are going to weigh me. I have the mental checklist going on: glass of ice for root beer , iPhone ear buds, don’t need the charger because I have an extra in the car, can of root beer already in purse, maybe I should wear different shoes that don’t weigh as much, make sure to wear glasses.

Crap I forgot to brush my teeth. Run back to bathroom, grab toothbrush. UGH. Where’s the freakin’ toothpaste?? Immediate thought: blame kid. I stomp off to the other bathroom, but I only find his nasty toothbrush, a dirty spit-filled sink and a tube of mint Crest that’s been left open and is oozing onto the counter. Meh. Mental note: make kid clean bathroom.

Maybe I left it in the shower?
Nope.

Would I have brought it to the kitchen? Unlikely, but not unheard of.
Nope.

Alright. Frantically search bathroom drawers. Nothing but my toothbrush.

Wait. What? My toothbrush? Look down at hand. Huh - look at that. It’s toothpaste I’ve been carrying around. **snort**  Oh dear. Hmmm. I start to worry about getting older. Could it be? Sure it could! But I much prefer to blame it on the ADHD – so much easier than admitting I just turned 40. Mental note: this really should be my next blog post. OH! I should take a photo of this for InstaGram.

Trot off to the kitchen, and I happen to find kid’s birthday ice cream sprinkles on the table – complete with candles. Oh I am so clever. Dump candles and toothpaste on kitchen table, take photo. Crap! I have a doctor’s appointment! Out the door.

Time wasted: exactly 10 minutes. Now you know.
Fast forward 12 hours. Need to brush before bed. UGH! Where is my toothpaste?
 
True story.

1 comment:

John Davis said...

Many Zahnpasta items that do not use the key connected with whitening grab the dirt from the moment splits on the enameled in an attempt to indicate the genuine appeal of this enamel backside. i am a dentist and i don't think this is a good idea alone is too abrasive for teeth, combitanion with sea salt is worse. we don't advise our patients to use whitening Zahncreme which contains contents like baking powder. using them for too long cause enamel thinning and roughening so they cause more staining eventually.