Christmas Quandary

I have a question about Christmas decorations (or Chanukah, or Kwanza, or whatever you celebrate).

Are you imagining my house during the holidays? Lots of pretty shiny lights? Duh. But just so you know, I prefer tiny white lights, not the rainbow colors, and especially not the tiny blue lights. I don’t like them because they remind me of mint – and I can’t stand mint.

Anyway, I feel overwhelmed with all that has happened over the past year – in fact, I would classify 2011 as tsunami-grade chaos. Not good for ADHD types. So in an effort to avoid any additional stress, I decided that this year our family would have a tree-free, decoration-free Christmas. I explained to both my son and my husband that I’m not lacking holiday spirit, but rather I am seeking a little peace to end the year. All seemed fine.

Let me clarify one other thing: I say “I decided” because during the season, I am solely responsible for conjuring up the holiday “spirit.” Seriously. I am a one-woman decoration shop.

I told several people about this – and I was really surprised at the reactions. Some people actually said that it wasn’t fair to my son – what would his friends say? No Christmas tree? (the horror!) What kind of mom doesn’t have a tree? And others were the opposite – well good for you! Christmas is so commercialized – I agree you should boycott! (Sheesh, I didn’t say we weren’t going to have a Christmas – chillax people!)

Honestly, I hold neither of those views. I just want some quiet, not-so-shiny time. But, I am curious about what you guys think. Either side – dish it out. And I’d love to know how you would tell your kid(s) that this year would be different – a little less shiny, if you had made the same choice.

That is all.

hello? is this thing on?

It’s been a year since my last post – WTP? I'm going to admit it - I got lost. Duh.

Really. I mean it – I was lost. I didn’t lose my URL or forget my password, I just got off the path. (Ok peanut gallery – this is where you chime in – YOU have a path? Ha ha – very funny.) Some of you know it’s been a miserable year for me, and I don’t particularly enjoy misery. And I say that in all seriousness because we all know plenty of folks who live for it. Some people bounce back quickly from this kind of stuff, others reflect and philosophize, some people drink heavily. But bouncing didn’t require much effort and left me uninspired; I’m not a philosophizer either, as that takes clear and uncluttered thought. I’m allergic to booze – so no luck there either.

I won’t recount the loads of not-particularly-joyous crap that’s happened this year. My therapist says I am supposed to leave that junk in a box on a shelf when I leave her office, which is a fantastic concept, except when I want to sneak into her office, grab the box and light that puppy on fire. **evil laugh*

So I’m slowly poking along, not thinking about that box as often as I used to, and figuring out where my sense of humor went. I know it’s here somewhere because it peeks its head out every so often just to say hello, like Stewie in Family Guy. (btw - watch the clip if you haven't seen it.)

My new goal is to grab it and hang on to it for a little longer each day. I’ll try being patient with it, maybe resist the urge to strangle it. Baby steps, you know? It’s like birthing a child, or more like a twin, or when I’m on a familiar trail but the season has changed. I recognize it, but it looks just a tiny bit different. So I’m going to call my blog “look, something kind of shiny” for a while – until I can be fully distracted by life’s amusements again.

Oh – about the socks. I just thought they were funny. And you know I like socks.

Ciao.

The Upside of the Downsize

Oh, I so wish I were talking about my weight!

But back to reality. Today, I had the unpleasant experience of being let go from a position that I dearly loved. Basically, what I do – did, rather – is work in a community connecting people from all kinds of backgrounds who never knew the other existed. Pure bliss and incredibly gratifying since I am happiest when embedded in and connecting people in communities of any kind: gym rats, urban Cincy folks, bird nerds; it pretty much doesn’t matter who, what or where.

When talking to people today about what happened, the question I kept hearing was – Well, I’ll keep my ears open – so, what are you looking for? Huh. Stumped. I’m 38-years-old – aren’t I supposed to know this by now? But – I haven’t really thought about it from my own perspective lately, instead of CareerBuilder's. What am I looking for? It’s sort of refreshing to stop and think about it like that: In a perfect world, what would I do if I could create my own job?

Let’s see: I love to write. I am crazy cuckoo for editing. I adore grammar. I love photography. I am a communicator. I love to help. I want to help. I value humor and honesty. I like asking questions so that I can understand the way things work. I like responsibility (to a fault). I like direction. My family always comes first.

There! My resume in a nutshell: Zealous, experienced potential employee seeks long-term relationship with employer searching for an articulate, inquisitive and creative editor and/or blogger to write about and take pictures of people in communities, and pontificate about the value family and friends. Any takers out there??

So, though I am devastated that I am no longer going to be an integral part of a community that I love, I’m determined to make lemonade from this bunch of really tart lemons. And, to make that lemonade just a little sweeter, I have some extra time to spend with my son, do some real spring cleaning, stalk that elusive Pileated Woodpecker, and blog. It’s the upside to the downsize: time to myself to figure out my place in the world and get a few things checked off my list.

this job is stressing me out

Last week, my nephew gave me the nicest compliment about my blog posts. He wrote “your blogs are awesome! whenever im gettin stressed at work i read them and it pretty much brightens my day. lol.” Now – how sweet is that? And he is only 21 – so I consider that a pretty big impression, considering I’m an old lady comparatively speaking. But the last thing he said completely cracked me up: “I thought about blogging myself but it would turn into a giant negative rant every time... this job stresses me out!”

Let me point out the context of the humor: He’s an EOD Tech in the US Army – Explosive Ordinance Disposal. Now – for a long time, I couldn’t remember that, so I just called him a “bomb guy,” or, “you know, the guy who deactivates the bomb thinga-ma-jiggys.” Funny – people always seemed to know want I meant. But, this from the woman who called him PVC, instead of PFC. Huh. Maybe they didn’t know what I meant but just nodded their heads and smiled because they understand that I am slightly deficient…

Anyway, “whenever im gettin stressed at work” just seems like kind of an understatement. Whenever? Really? If I were a bomb exploder chick, I would always be stressed. Is it the red wire, or the blue wire? But – I guess it really doesn’t work that way anymore, and he assures me it’s much more dangerous now. Great.

Anyway, I’ve had one heck of a week with loads of work stress (certainly my stress can’t compare). His comment has been stuck in my head, but I can’t get 10 minutes to myself to write about it. Shut my door, someone knocks. Turn off the phone, I get 20 messages. How can I get people to just leave me alone so I can get my work done? But today, it dawned on me. I have the perfect way to make folks get the hint that I’m stressed and to please leave me alone. I’m taking my cue from my nephew and buying myself an official United States Army, military-issue bomb disposal suit (see above!). How funny would it be to wear that to my office? Knock, knock. Come in!! Door opens. (Insert facial expression here.) And that thought, my friends, brightens my day!

(ps - lower case letters and lack of punctuation provided by my nephew, PVC Ruwe)